by Hannah Kloepfer

Image:  @c__l__o  via  Pinterest

Image: @c__l__o via Pinterest

Image:  Pinterest

Image: Pinterest

Subject: Sweat. Sweat is your BIGGEST cheerleader. Whether you’re working or working out, nervous or feeling sexy, sweat wants you to know that it is THERE FOR YOU and wants to take away some of the heat. She’s like Gretchen Weiners. Your beta self that is so desperate to please you that sometimes it does stupid things. Just trying to keep. Things. Cool.

Hey, Friend!

What’re you up to today? Wanna hang out? Maybe tonight? You let me know. I am at the ready!

I’m just feeling so energized by this time of year, you know? This is our time. You’ve made all these kickass goals, and I am so inspired by everything you’ve set out to accomplish, that I will do everything in my power to make sure you shine like the star you are.

No one keeps a New Year’s Resolution like you. Those workouts we’ve been getting? Man. I am feeling ALIVE. This 7 day a week, two-a-day workout goal you’ve set for this year is totally realistic, and we are going to have so much fun! I won’t even tell anyone that you took three (consecutive) rest days already because you got that weird rash on your butt that made it uncomfortable to wear leggings. That’s our little secret.

But remember that spin class we took the other day? That was weird, right? I heard you tell your sister that I come on a little too strong. And then you both laughed and pointed at me! I laughed along with you, because, whatever, it didn’t bother me, but like, we had just finished spin for Pete’s sake! I thought we were having the best time!

And I was wiping tears from my eyes...of joy! From the laughing! Duh. But I could have sworn that your sister was plugging her nose too.

And like, no offense, but I don’t stink. YOU stink! There, I said it.

Omg please don’t be mad at me.

What I mean to say is, I’m just doing my job! There are about a dozen reasons you get stinky when I’m around, not limited to but including -- your diet, your health, and your clothes! I am not here to tell you that drinking, stress, and polyester can make you reek, but....oh wait, I guess I just did. Holy shit. PLEASE don’t be mad at me.

I don’t know what’s getting into me today. I guess when I get pent up without an outlet, I get a little cranky.

And, no offense, but you wouldn’t get like so many compliments about your “glow” if it wasn’t for me, but you can take credit, I’m totally okay with it. Anyway.

What was it your dance teacher used to say? “Every day you have to smile, and every day you have to sweat.”

I loved her.

I thought we were having the best time! And I was wiping tears from my eyes...of joy! From the laughing! Duh. But I could have sworn that your sister was plugging her nose too. 

So here I am, turning the page, extending an olive branch, passing the ceremonial pipe....

Image:  Pinterest

Image: Pinterest

I am your BIGGEST cheerleader.

And if you’re ever in trouble, I will take some of that heat for you.

Like that time you had that big presentation at work? It was down to the wire, make or break, nail biting awesomeness. You were a total wreck! And I kept telling you to breathe and maybe eat something, but that didn’t sound like a good idea to you, so... I just swept in and let out some of that toxic build up.

I think you felt better. Right? And we agreed you needed an outfit change, so you could be on your game, and guess what? You crushed it! You always do.

Oooh ooh. Or how about that night we went out dancing, and we fell in love with that Spanish guy who actually knew how to dance? It was amazing. We spun and dipped and bounced with him all night (even after the dance floor ;-p ) That’s the kind of stuff that is so totally worth it. And we had so much fun! Thanks for letting me come; you didn’t even mind that I tagged along. We should do that again. I heard that salsa works up a good... me!

Listen, all this to say, I love hanging out with you so much, and I never want to lose you. I act stupid sometimes, but inspired by you, I offer you my New Year’s Resolution:

I promise to keep. Things. Cool.

So...hang out tonight? I’m totally flex. Whatever you want.


Your Sweat

Hannah Kloepfer is a PAW: Producer, Actor, Writer based in NYC. This multi-hyphenate is currently working as a writer’s assistant, developing content and culture for DonorUP, and lending her voice to various animated characters and commercials. Her migraine hasn’t reared its ugly head in some time; she hopes it’s found peace...wherever it went; life’s a whole lot better without it. Follow Hannah @hannahkloepfer and visit the magic that is and